The war of labour

Labor is hard. Labor trauma is a thing. Over and over we hear the war stories of the women who’ve been through it and come out the other end, not always intact. Bodies are stretched and marked. Muscles over used, over stretched and torn. Blood loss. Stitches. Complications. We endure hours of pain to give birth to the most beautiful thing we’ve ever accomplished. That tiny baby bundle has to come out of your body one way or another but it’s so perfect when it does, that maybe it doesn’t matter if we’re left in ribbons afterwards right? Maybe this is the only way.

Let me tell you here and now that this is not the only way. There are ways in which you can become more in control of your birth. You can be calm. You can do it and you can even enjoy the experience.

My first labor was text book traumatic. Beginning by being told there wasn’t enough fluid around baby during a routine scan and being sent upstairs there and then for induction. Followed by 11 hours of contractions and distress signs from my baby early on. An epidural that didn’t work. The fact that I vomited the entire way through. An episiotomy that bled too much and the fact that my baby boy was silent for what seemed like an eternity after his birth. All of this punctuated by gut wrenching fear and a feeling of utter helplessness. It still gives me palpitations when I think about it.

Thankfully my baby boy is now a strong, determined, stubborn, intelligent 6 year old. But that episiotomy scar still gives me trouble.

My second labor however. That was a doozy alright. Contractions started at about 1am. I labored at home until 8am the next morning. Eventually heading to hospital at 10am and my second beautiful baby boy was born at 11am. I may have wobbled for a minute just before I started pushing but I can hand-on-heart tell you that I enjoyed every moment. I even smiled throughout. I didn’t need an epidural and refused the gas and air (mostly because I was afraid of vomiting again) I didn’t even need stitches afterwards, living the dream ladies! I was in control and I was calm from start to finish. When I think back on that day I actually glow a little and I can’t wait to do it again.

What did I do differently from the first labor to the second? I prepared. People compare labor to running a marathon and running a marathon takes months of preparations. Giving birth is one of the most important days of your life. A day that you will always remember and one that you will re-live every year on that precious baby’s birthday. So why wouldn’t you prepare for such a day? Why not make it a great day?

I used every tool at my disposal: reflexology, aromatherapy, massage and an ingenious app called Gentle Birth. So let’s get started and see how you can have the best birth possible.

Reflexology; a non invasive treatment working reflexes in the feet to target the body as a whole. It’s an ancient treatment dating back to the dawn of the pyramids and is still used today because people find it works for them. So much so that there have been studies; a 2008 study showed the effects of reflexology on laboring women compared to a control group. The study found that the women who received the reflexology treatment rated significantly lower on the Pain Rating Index and had shorter labors. [1] These women only had one treatment at the beginning of their labor at the outcome was less pain, shorter labor and less complications compared to the control group. That’s pretty incredible.

I highly recommend you find yourself a good reflexologist in the beginning of your pregnancy, you can safely have this treatment done from 16 weeks. The benefits are incredible with decreased stress (for you and baby) and better sleep. Reflexology can help with most of the side effects we experience during pregnancy like constipation, bloating, swollen ankles or hands. It reduces anxiety and depression. When you’ve reached your 40 week mark reflexology can help to naturally bring on labor and a good reflexologist will most likely be registered to a governing body meaning you can claim back a portion of your treatment cost against you health insurance. There is nothing not to love about this treatment.

Moving onto massage during pregnancy and labor. This is for the baby daddies too; a few simple and easy to apply massage moves could make all the difference to your lady during labor. Women who regularly received massage during their pregnancy noted less stress, anxiety and depression. They had a higher rate of reaching full 40 week term and babies were born with a higher birth weight. Massage can relieve the added tension put on the back, shoulders, hips, knees and ankles too. Women who regularly received massage labored on average 3 hours shorter than women who didn’t [2]. That all sounds great right!? You can safely get massage from 12 weeks and it’s best to find a therapist experienced in pregnancy massage.

During labor having your partner do circles on your lower back using the palm of the hand can be a great pain reliever as well as lumbar squeezes (as your therapist to show your birth partner how to do this, it’ll only take a minute but it’s so worth it.)

Aromatherapy is a treasure of mine, not a day goes by when I don’t use my oils for whatever reason. During pregnancy and labor they can be a powerful ally. Say for example you burn lavender during times of meditation (we’ll get to that later), then use lavender again during labor or times of stress, the smell of the lavender will trigger your mind to return to the calm and peaceful state and away from stress and panic. You can train your brain to associate smells with feelings and memories. It makes sense to use the oils from early in your pregnancy and prepare for your labor. Below are a list of oils that are safe to use in pregnancy, what they do and when you can use them;

From the beginning, these oils are to be used in a diffuser or oil burner only:

Bergamot – is a fantastic antidepressant. It’s uplifting and can balance moods; cooling anger and frustration. It’s also a digestive which will calm the stomach and help with bloating.
Mandarin – one of the best oils to avoid stretch marks or help heal them
Sandalwood – is soothing and grounding. It’s also a great emollient making it a perfect oil for dry or itchy skin.
Neroli – brings the peace, kicks stress in the ass, soothes digestion and stimulates cell growth for skin repair.
Frankincense – helps to heal scar tissue. This oil also helps with ‘letting go’. Letting go of fear, anxiety or memories of previous birth trauma.

After 16 weeks, oils can be applied to the skin safely at this point but heed my warning ladies, oils are incredibly concentrated and need to be diluted properly. Ask your local therapist for advice before you apply anything to your baby house.

All of the above
Lavender – what doesn’t lavender do? It helps with sleep, skin repair, mood enhancer, calming stress. I could go on, lavender is a hero, you get the idea.
Petitgrain – is great for balancing oily skin types. It’s gently relaxing and uplifts the spirit.
Benzoin – is excellent for dry, itchy or flaky skin. It encourages you to let go of worries and anger while helping to bring forth confidence. It’s soothing (like a good hug)

After 40 weeks:

Clary sage – oh yes, I know you’ve probably heard of this oil. This little beauty is great to add to your labor tool kit, it can help to kick start your contractions if you’re overdue. It can help to enhance contractions once they’ve already started. It can help reduce pain and shorten labor. It’s a good one but not before the 40week mark or if you’re already in labor.
Rose oil – the ultimate feminine oil. This oil is supportive, brings the confidence, strengthens the heart and helps you to dig deep into your feminine strength! It can also reduce the length of time spent in labor and manage pain.

Again, these oils need to be diluted safely. Don’t put them directly on the skin and don’t ever ingest them. There ARE risks to using oils so please ask for help if that’s the direction you want to go.

Last but certainly not least the fantastic app, yes there really is an app for giving birth and it is amazing. Since using it for my last birth I’ve been practically harping on at every pregnant woman I’ve come across. YOU NEED THIS APP.

Tracey Donegan is the creator and the voice of the app and I credit her in helping me to have the incredible birth of my dreams. In the app you’ll find a ton of hypnosis and meditation tracts to listen to over the course of your pregnancy along with a guide book which is a good read (although I admit I much prefer to have the paper book in my hand rather then read it on my tiny phone screen but that might just be me.) Every day the app will recommend tracts for you to listen to and all you have to do is press play, lie down and go to sleep. It’s brain training at it’s best.

What you’re left with are the tools to deal with your labor along with the knowledge and confidence that you can indeed do this. There is a Facebook page dedicated to the Gentle Birth phenomenon, there you will find your tribe. Women encouraging and empowering women and birth stories of every kind, all incredible in their own way.

Another aspect of Gentle Birth that I love is that is respectful of every choice that we, as birthing mothers, have. It’s not so much about having a drug free all natural labor and more about empowering you to be calm and deal with whatever comes your way. Both vaginal and caesarean births can be beautiful. You have the power to make it so.

There you have it my bump buddies, all the tools at your disposal. I wish you the birth of your dreams.

And please, if you have experienced a traumatic birth, don’t be silenced. You have the right to talk about it, you have the right to those emotions, you have the right to heal.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3371987/

[2] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2870995/